Repeat Offender

Is it me, or will this monkey never pull it together? 70 years and hundreds of books later, he’s still can’t figure out he’s got a problem. Time after time, he turns life’s greatest pleasures (i.e. making pancakes or going to the zoo) into unfortunate chaos. When will he get into the swing of things? Even my three-year-old, who knows very little about restraint, rails against this monkey's poor decision-making. I’m here to say this: Don’t be fooled. Just because this monkey's got an innocuous smile and disarming good looks doesn’t mean he’s not capable of terrible things. People have done a lot less and ended up with 30 to life and a prison bitch. And notice how PETA has never defended him? We can't even chalk it up to OCD -- as I've yet to read Curious George and the Super Clean Doorknob. He needs an intervention, people -- and we can’t assume the Man with the Yellow Hat will pull it together. He still hasn’t figured out that yellow is just a seasonal color. Who's with me?