Cottage cheese. How do you exist? You call yourself a food, yet you have the consistency of despair. How do you stand yourself? Your most common associations are with ceilings and thighs. At the supermarket, the cheese community has literally done away with you. Last I saw, you were slumming it with butter.
Your saddest truth? Rarely do you ever get eaten alone. You always need a mixer such as edible food. If I were on Death Row, and you were the last meal, I’d perish starved. Bon appetit? Never. Bon voyage.
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I never knew you had such pent-up rage. At least you're venting it towards a dairy product. But still, it's not healthy man. Take up boxing.
ReplyDeleteYou know me, I'm a peaceful, mellow guy. Some things (i.e. cottage cheese) just rub me the wrong way. Anyhow, isn't the keyboard akin to a heavy bag for a writer?
ReplyDeleteDo one on powered milk next. It’s a bigger fucking asshole than cottage cheese if you ask me. Plain yogurt, consider yourself lucky, so shut the fuck up.
ReplyDeleteAhhh. That felt good. Thank you.