Color Blind

Have you ever paid attention to the perverse wordplay involving paint names? They range from cute (“Fluffy Biscuit”) to strangely geographical (“Jakarta”) to WTF (“Muir’s Pulpit”). Where did “Brown,” “Light Brown” and “Even Lighter Brown” go? And why do so many tell you nothing about actual color? Just witness “Wild Bunny,” “Crooked Street” and “Deep Mystery” -- an ironic name likely concocted by some prick at the Dunn Edwards factory. And “Sail Away?” Last I checked that was something you did -- not something you splattered across a nursery. The quintessential cake taker: “Remember the Alamo.” A deep red symbolizing the tears and bloodshed of 200 lost Texans? Nope. Just beige.