Remember Five Minutes Ago

When did 9-year-old’s become nostalgic? After stumbling across this birthday card at the car wash, I was mystified. Why? Because you can’t get nostalgic when you don’t know what nostalgia is. You can’t fondly look back at a birthday – when it was yesterday. He just finished breastfeeding – and now he’s supposed to reminisce about it? Spare me the stroll down mammary lane. And, by the way, what a year to get misty-eyed for. 2001. Ah, such memories. The dot-com bubble bursting; the economy crashing; 9/11; the world ending. Fuck 2001. Let little Timmy focus on what’s important: like remembering where he put his Ritalin.