Amazon.wrong

Hey friends, I’m sort of on the fence about something and was hoping you could help. Which of these books would you like for the holiday? Knitting with Dog Hair or I Am the Market: How to Smuggle Cocaine by the Ton, in Five Easy Lessons? Amazon.com is selling them both and I’m thinking you’d probably like to receive one -- or both -- from me. I know they’re both right up your alley, no pun intended. (I mean, who doesn’t love canine couture or smuggling a kilo of coke inside their rectum??) There's also a quart of wolf urine that has suddenly just become available. Hmmm, so difficult to choose. No rush, just let me know when you get a chance...

He Doesn't Always Drink Beer

Few ad campaigns inspire me to write for them for free. But over the last few years, this one has titillated me to no end. So, on that front, here are a few things you might not know about The Most Interesting Man in the World:

Homeless people give money to him.

His house help works pro-bono.

Every James Bond movie is loosely based on him.

Flop sweat is beneath him.

Fidel Castro mails him Cuban cigars personally.

His farts sell for millions on eBay.

He's never worn a condom, but surprisingly, lives disease free and without children.

When he plays poker, he never bluffs -- yet always wins.

When he sleeps with your wife, you're flattered.