Cupid Idea

I thought the idea was to keep your wife off the pole? This year, novelty superstore aahs! has infused a new Valentine’s Day gift into their arsenal: the stripper pole. Naturally, it’s $69.99 -- and it's such a good idea that the woman in the ad asked to be pixelated beyond recognition. Were the candy hearts with the inscription “Eat me” just not selling? Because after all, nothing says ‘I love you,’ like ‘Honey, this family could really use another source of income.’ Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps it's just an elaborate ploy to boost the ranks of volunteer firefighters. If that's case, thanks aahs! for contributing to the notion of public service. I mean, clearly that’s why I now own three of them.

Amazon.wrong

Hey friends, I’m sort of on the fence about something and was hoping you could help. Which of these books would you like for the holiday? Knitting with Dog Hair or I Am the Market: How to Smuggle Cocaine by the Ton, in Five Easy Lessons? Amazon.com is selling them both and I’m thinking you’d probably like to receive one -- or both -- from me. I know they’re both right up your alley, no pun intended. (I mean, who doesn’t love canine couture or smuggling a kilo of coke inside their rectum??) There's also a quart of wolf urine that has suddenly just become available. Hmmm, so difficult to choose. No rush, just let me know when you get a chance...