Since when is “Pork” a fortune? Last night I had the misfortune of opening up this gem after the most anti-climactic Chinese meal ever. I’m all for inspirational messages, but upon receiving this sad scrap, I felt gypped. No “Great riches are right around the corner.” No “You're god's gift to humanity.” Just “Pork.”
And let's talk about the fortune "cookie" for a second. Worst dessert ever? Stale sugar wrapped in plastic stuffed with scratch paper? Hmmm, delicious.
Please go away. You haven’t been delicious in years.... and your Lottery numbers insult me. Eating you is like having sex with a condom -- unsatisfying and difficult to finish. I’ll take the almond cookie over you any day.
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