Screwing the Pooch

There’s nothing like taking your dog for a walk, but at what point is this little seaside stroll no longer fun for Fluffy? You gotta love her, she’s smiling despite doing her best impression of janitor's keys. More likely she's thinking, “Ever heard of a leash? Have you??” Maybe I’m overthinking things. Perhaps this dog’s perfectly fine being shoehorned into this woman's ass. I’m just glad she’s not letting the dog roam, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that dogs hate to run.

Feline Forensics? WTF.

I have cats. They've never done anything productive. Like, ever. When I read today that they're now foiling criminal cases, I almost coughed up a Cheerio. Did I miss something? How did they squeeze in forensic training between 23-hour naps? I guess somewhere between vomiting up fur and power washing their genitals, they caught a segment of CSI: Wherever. Now, back to bed with you Fluffy.