Chicken Belittle

You’re “running around like a chicken with its head cut off?” Really? Sorry to hear you’re so busy, but must you decapitate poultry to make your point? Just asking because this is an image that won’t be shook by late stage Alzheimer’s. I know you’re overwhelmed by your massive “to do” list, but I’d prefer not to have this fowl image ricocheting throughout my brain. Here’s an idea: Plan your week better and maybe together, we can spare a few lives. (Same goes for “beating a dead horse.” Just leave the carcass alone.)

Leave the Poor Horse Alone

Can we please just retire this saying from our vernacular once and for all -- “Don’t beat a dead horse?” I apologize if I was redundant, but you need not punish me with the image of a horse carcass getting its ass kicked. One minute we’re having a nice a cup of coffee; the next you’re ear-fucking me with this little number. Spare me the graphics. Let me digest lunch. Don't force me to envision Seabiscuit getting beaten to a pulp by some 4’ foot jockey with a Napoleon complex.