Text Walking Violations

We’ve all had it happen. You’re walking, texting and then suddenly, face planting into a mall fountain. Okay, that doesn’t happen to everybody -- maybe just this woman. The point is, what did we do before texting? Just walk and look at stuff? Like nature? Cars speeding toward us? No fun. That could have all sorts of positive ramifications. Like low blood pressure. Survival. If you want to avoid such pratfalls into large, water-filled objects, maybe try an in-sight-full iPhone app such as Text Vision. It actually sees the manhole before you fall into it. That way, you can avoid the always ominous text, "BRB. Just fell into the earth." Never good.

To Pee or Not to Pee

Is it me or does this ad for enlarged prostate drug RAPAFLO not look like an ad for The Hangover II? Put aside the fact there's a man actually urinating on the side of the road. Or that his prostate is apparently the size of a balloon animal. Or that it's Locke from Lost. I have to say: this trip looks fun. He's got the convertible. Lady friend. What's the big deal if he needs a pit stop? She can catch up on texting. Maybe even floss. He can give the starved earth some long deserved nutrients. But no. The drug companies say you should fear this scenario. They remind you that frequent urination can ruin the flow of life -- especially when you're absconding to Vegas with your whore mistress. Frankly, I'd be more worried about the drug's side effect that includes having an "orgasm with reduced or no semen." 'Cause that's just not going to fly. Especially on this little road trip.