Pad Choice

Pad Thai: If you could add just a bit more oil into your recipe – that would be great. It’s not enough that you induce three-day food comas. Or that while eating you, my cholesterol shoots up like Courtney Love at a rave. It’s more the pool of regret I feel in my soul after snarfing down a plate of you. Don’t get me wrong. You taste amazing. But so does a brick of fudge. And you don’t see me jamming that down my gullet on a weekday “lunch” whim. Just call yourself what you are: 1000 calories of self-hate. And PS. Since when did a pile of nuts become a garnish? Seriously. Nuts? Fuck off. And take your fat-filled Thai iced tea milkshake with you.