To Pee or Not to Pee

Is it me or does this ad for enlarged prostate drug RAPAFLO not look like an ad for The Hangover II? Put aside the fact there's a man actually urinating on the side of the road. Or that his prostate is apparently the size of a balloon animal. Or that it's Locke from Lost. I have to say: this trip looks fun. He's got the convertible. Lady friend. What's the big deal if he needs a pit stop? She can catch up on texting. Maybe even floss. He can give the starved earth some long deserved nutrients. But no. The drug companies say you should fear this scenario. They remind you that frequent urination can ruin the flow of life -- especially when you're absconding to Vegas with your whore mistress. Frankly, I'd be more worried about the drug's side effect that includes having an "orgasm with reduced or no semen." 'Cause that's just not going to fly. Especially on this little road trip.

Cupid Idea

I thought the idea was to keep your wife off the pole? This year, novelty superstore aahs! has infused a new Valentine’s Day gift into their arsenal: the stripper pole. Naturally, it’s $69.99 -- and it's such a good idea that the woman in the ad asked to be pixelated beyond recognition. Were the candy hearts with the inscription “Eat me” just not selling? Because after all, nothing says ‘I love you,’ like ‘Honey, this family could really use another source of income.’ Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps it's just an elaborate ploy to boost the ranks of volunteer firefighters. If that's case, thanks aahs! for contributing to the notion of public service. I mean, clearly that’s why I now own three of them.