Bigfoot's Carbon Footprint

Bigfoot's carbon footprint: Bigger than most or just average? I’m just wondering because I’m getting the distinct feeling we’re getting sidetracked with all this climate change talk. Can someone please ask the questions that matter? In terms of conservation, is Bigfoot doing his share? Is he composting? Has the hirsute beast gone to mulch? He may live in the forest, but how green is he really? We can’t let this fleet of foot furball fly under the radar. Oh and on an unrelated front, this Gulf oil spill...yeah, not good.

Cop Out

Since when did intimidation leave police work? While attending Game 2 at Staples Center on Sunday, I couldn’t help but notice the presence of our great LAPD officers working Chick Hearn Lane -- on Segways. One question: When did our men in blue all become Paul Blart? I applaud them for being so green, I do, but is this the impression we want to make on Boston fans who've been liquored up since leaving the womb? This is the city that gave us The Departed -- and we give them Ponch and Baker-lite? How do you accidentally taser a Paul Pierce fan from an electric vehicle? Or subdue a Kendrick Perkins fan -- just for simply being one? Call me old fashioned, but if this series goes to a 6th or 7th game, nightsticks and motorcycles are called for. I’ll even take a cop on horseback leaving piles of stank in its wake -- should a Rasheed Wallace fan plummet into it. Now, let’s man up, protect and serve, and steal the last one in Boston. And please put the Tonka toys away.

Not the Brightest Bulbs

To honor the monumental global achievement that marked Earth Hour, I ask: Is this the best we can do? One hour every year? What about the other 8,759? How can we defeat climate change in just 60 measly minutes? And don't most people go out on Saturday nights at 8:30pm anyways? If one hour of darkness is the key to shedding light on our impending doom, we'll all be swimming to work in 20 years. Every hour = earth hour.

The Toyota Grand Prius

Is a Prius safe for the environment if it's hurtling uncontrollably across a highway at 90mph? That's the question I pondered today while reading about a man whose Toyota landed him in a high-speed pursuit. When a cop finally caught up to offer more than just moral support, the man claimed his gas pedal got stuck -- fueling the obvious debate: Should Toyota eliminate the Sudden Acceleration package from its offerings?