Want to watch a movie? Sure, let me just quickly open this DVD. Oh wait, that’s not gonna happen. Why? Because someone at the douche factory decided DVD packaging should be harder to crack than The Da Vinci Code. (Seriously, not one vulnerable crease?) Unfortunately, my son watching me battle this box isn't going to be entertainment enough.
One shred of loose plastic, that’s all I ask. And please, make sure that once I do finally penetrate this outer cloak of injustice, there’s an equally impossible strip of adhesive across the top that not even Edward Scissorhands could open.
Oh, wait, there’s already one? Perfect.
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